Everyone always tells you that no two pregnancies, like no two children, are the same. I did not know how true that was until my second pregnancy. For a little background my first pregnancy was easy, I had some morning sickness during my first trimester, a mystery rash we had trouble getting rid of, and leaking fluid at the end I wasn't aware of. Even my first labor was pretty good. They induced my at 7am and despite my child being sunny side up and only being able to get her to do a quarter turn before I had to push after 10 1/2 hours I had my baby girl, who despite being blue was very healthy. I love my first pregnancy, was one of those women it made me happy, and I actually enjoyed being pregnant.
When I got pregnant in October everything was different. My husband and I tried to plan accordingly so that I could miss as little work as possible, so that we could financially be in a better position when #2 got here. I found out in October that I was pregnant and due in July. For a teacher who doesn't want to miss work that was great and then it felt like the other shoe kept dropping. Don't get me wrong I am so excited about having another baby girl and I know how blessed I am to be pregnant. I also know that without this particular pregnancy I would not get the daughter that I am ment to have, but that does not mean I have to enjoy this pregnancy. My morning sickness this time was really bad they even had to give me an rx for it this time, and it didn't magically go away at the end of my first trimester, but I thought I can handle this, it's totally worth it. The week before thanksgiving long before we had told our families my dad died and I never got to tell him about this baby girl. I know that he knows about her and is so excited, I don't think he loved anything more than his family particularly adding new members. But I missed a wonderful moment where I got to share this news with him and hear that excitement in his voice. I am still having a hard time after my dad died and that coupled with pregnancy hormones is making this a very weepy pregnancy. I however thought that this would be my big trial during my pregnancy and I was wrong.
Around 15-16 weeks I started having really bad headaches and dizzy spells. I called the ob and they told me I was likely dehydrated and to try drinking a lot. Well after about three weeks of this getting nothing but worse, missing a lot of work, and seeing several doctors I finally had a name for what I was going through... POTS. When I stand my heart rate goes way up and my bp goes down because I am struggling to have enough blood volume for my all of my body and my body is diverting the blood flow that I do have to my baby instead of my heart and brain when I stand. This is why I feel so much like I'm going to pass out. Along with that ther are headaches, a fuzzy brain, blurry vision, and other assorted symptoms. After several more tests my heart is functioning fine, but they are not comfortable treating me with any medications while pregnant and I will have to be out of work during the remainder of my pregnancy. I know this is the plan for me, but this is not what I wanted. I struggle every day trying to help with daily tasks and caring for my older child when I can, but this is not what I wanted.
Now at almost 28 weeks I feel awful. It's that same feeling I got about two weeks before I had my daughter last time. I am achy. I am nauseous. I am miserable and trying to figure out how I am going to make through another 12 weeks or so, not that I think this one will make it to term. As I near my third trimester this time I am so much more scared and worried about what may go wrong for me and my little girl.
I know how lucky I am to be pregnant with this little girl, but I don't feel like it means that I have to enjoy this experience. I know how terrible it is for me to complain when there are so many who would change places with me Ina heartbeat even through this difficult pregnancy.
